Saying that this past week has been an eye opener is such an understatement, and boy are my eyes opened.

One question I asked myself was this: what if I was born black? -- a question I never asked myself ever! My heart broke because I will never understand. But I realized a lot of things... that I'm guilty of being privileged. I'm guilty of thinking, "it doesn't affect me so I have no say in the matter". I'm guilty of not following more black creators because "I wouldn't be able to relate to them." I'm guilty of laughing at and not calling out racist jokes. I'm guilty of being ignorant about black lives. I'm guilty of being part of the problem and I want to change that.

I now understand what I can do to help, and it goes so much deeper than just being another voice or influence here on Instagram. It's doing a major heart check (which I've already done this past week), and a lot more of challenging my own thoughts, emotions, and actions every day. It's humbling myself, calling out the sin (which is racism), repenting, and asking God for forgiveness.

There's still so much work to be done and I'm sorry it took losing another black life to wake me up and the rest of the world to take action. I know the end goal is real change, and I truly believe that my biggest contribution and impact would be the change I make within myself and my family first.

I will continue to share helpful information, sign petitions, and donate when I can. I will do better at supporting black creators and businesses. I will educate myself more behind the scenes so I can lead by example. I know these are the bare minimum, but this is my commitment. Our children deserve a better world.